uh oh i watched ‘girls’ till 5am then couldn’t sleep because i was mentally choosing between adam and ezra koenig and when i did sleep i merely dreamed about oversleeping, ice cream, and what if humans of new york pointed a gun at people instead of a camera and showed their reaction, and then i woke up at 12pm and went downstairs and my aunt got a shock because she thought i was a dog. that has been my past six hours.
it’s almost 3am but i’ve found a link to watch season 3 of ‘girls’ and i’ve watched 2 episodes and love it and love adam and wanna watch another but sleep but girls but hmmmm
i’m about 90% sure i’m lactose intolerant but don’t want to get tested because i don’t want to have to give up chocolate, but i do kinda want a blood test because the when i got one in february the guy was nice and asked about my day and my blood looked cool in the tubes. my life is so hard </3
walked to my grandparents in the pouring rain and took a new root across the heath because i got into the woods and it was dark and nobody was around and i was a tad frightened, so took a root i’ve always thought looked nice, and found a small field of forget-me-not’s and greenness everywhere everywhere. had a long bath and talked to my grandma about the future and realised how excited i am for everything. and my grandpa said to me how nice it is to see me in a good mood, and it reminded me of how for two years whenever i saw them i was so, so miserable and stayed there because i couldn’t bare going home or leaving that bubble, and i realised walking how now compared to those years i am much more careful because i really want to stay here and stay existing for the future and even the present which can be so beautiful. also today is twenty-one months since i last harmed and yes today is a good day and my grandma made me take so much fruit home and a bunch of flowers and my hair is very rain-curled and thick and i saw a very pretty snail on my walk and lots of colourful flowers amidst all the greyness of the sky